Monday, Feb. 14, 2005 - 8:20 p.m.
Bloody bumholey people in charge of our careers, I hate you so much right now, AAAAAAARGH
Oh god I seem to have been taken over by The Dreamers, which I watched last night. It's not even that I thought it was a brilliant film - I thought there were great bits and some not so great bits - but I never thought it would still be in me 24 hours later.I've just been listening to 'La Mer' as a result (although it's also obviously just a brilliant and favourite song) and I am really cross that I don't have tickets for Paris THIS INSTANT.
I was even saying to Magoo earlier that I really didn't like Mathew from it much, because he's like a poor man's di Caprio, but one that gets work because he's willing to do (very) rude scenes. However, that's before I realised he was T0mmy Gnostic in Hedwig, and I certainly found him sexual in that. Now unbidden images of him keep reentering my mind.
And how gorgeous is Eva Green?
Anyway ... I had sort of promised myself a trip to Paris if I got this job I applied for about a million years ago and didn't hear anything from for 3 weeks after my interview. Today I found out I didn't get it ... which, in any circumstances would be annoying if you were just not the right girl for (one of the 4) job(s). However, a girl I work with got one, and she is simply not remotely as experienced as I am - she's never done any editing and is really unconfident with it! So this could mean one of two things (and I don't like either of them):
1. Her lack of confidence is a face and she happens to be an amazing editor, much better than me.
2. I did much worse than I thought I did - I thought I'd given a decent interview and a respectable test.
Oh, or the third possibility:
3. My application slipped down the back of the sofa.
Or even:
4. Somebody high in that department fancies her.
It's not that this was my dream job, but I had worked out a sensible career plan based on getting it, and I KNOW I could do it, and now I don't know where to focus and tonight I am properly sulking.
Addendum:
Why the 80s were great, or What I've Been Listening To While Writing This:
The Killing Moon - Dear Mr Echo
Can't Be Sure - The Sundays