Tuesday, Mar. 01, 2005 - 8:34 p.m.
I'm crushing your head
My discussion topic today is crushes.Today I had to take the bus to a different tube station, and I noticed that someone (I'm thinking, young teen girl) had graffittied two bright red hearts, one on each side of the street name sign. I remembered a street in my home town that, when I was 15, was imbued with a magical significance just because that boy lived on it. If dad would ever by happenstance drive me down it I would be all eyes alert to see if he might be walking along, and sorry dad if you wanted an answer from me because I wouldn't be thinking about anything else.
I'm really not sure my feelings and behaviour are quite bonkersed-up that much in these, my senile years, just by a crush. Oh OK I did used to always look up passing through Bethnal Green in case a certain little lady someone passed by.
Anyway the thing is, when you remember this behaviour you think, christ what a stalker, and, I can't imagine anyone ever behaved like that on my street. Do you think people know when you have a crush on them?
Actually I do know that an 18 year old boy had a crush on me when I was 19, and I know because someone told me. And that was the worst thing ever because the two of used had used to have real belly laughs, and once I knew that about him I couldn't be the same around him. Eeek. He took me out to eat for my birthday and then he took a slightly inconvenient bus home so that we could travel back together. But I knew he was bonkers when he started waxing lyrical about how great it must be to live in the area I was living in. It was Camden.
Cat update: Through the letter box I saw that the cat IS still alive. But I tried to sprinkle some dried cat food through the letter box and the whole bag fell in and now I don't know if she's able to get any out of the bag. Like being in a sweetie shop with your mouth wired shut. I walked 30 mins through the rain for that moggy, too.