Thursday, Mar. 03, 2005 - 11:21 p.m.
Another boring rant about myself
With reference to my previous entry and my training;I have, I guess, been given the skills to think deeply about human life, the human condition and big ideas. (That's think about big ideas, not come up with them, no no no.)
But I can't think about my own life without going round and round in mental circles. I can't draw any conclusions about myself. Like Alice sang in Wonderland, I give myself such good advice but I very seldom* follow it. Except I don't often even give myself good advice.
And then on top of this I don't appear to be very good at any of the skills needed to do well in a job. I'm pretty organised and generally professional, but all I can see is where I should do better, and then I feel physically just unable to do better. Even though it's all easy stuff like, 'make lists', 'be better organised', 'don't procrastinate and ignore your work' but I know I rebel against my work because it BORES me.
But is being bored by your work any kind of excuse for anything? A better person would just put up with it and be spurred on to get something better.
When I get bored, my brain atrophies, and now my brain has atrophied so much I can't even think of anything else or be inspired to do owt good.
Sorry for the dullness. Funny how this is what I was rabbiting on about when I started this diary, and here I am, older, and back in the same place. STICKS to it.
* One of my favourite words, 'seldom'