Thursday, Mar. 17, 2005 - 8:47 p.m.
Bl*ody M*ther Fuc*ing As*hole!
Do you think if Heart (is that who it was?) had had their all-I-want-to-do-is-make-love-to-you wish fulfilled, they might have ended up having to sing 'all I want to do is have a bit of a nap, maybe watch the news, have a cup of tea, oh and run me a bath would you?'Because, right, all I want to do is eat my delicious jacket potato made in manner of Welsh rarebit and served with steamed broccoli and mange tout again. And again. And again. But I guess at some point I'd get full up and maybe even, stretching my imagination ad extremis bored of it.
Though this I doubt. It's the best meal EVER. If you're coming round to my house (btw, Daft Punk @re also playing at my house, at my house) for tea, you know what you'll be getting. Well, it's a balanced meal, isn't it?
There are other things that are the only things I want to do - which I suppose strictly stops any one of them being all I want to do, but I'm going to take this liberty.
1. Spend the sunny afternoons at the park rather than in my office on the far side of the room from the window, but still being able to hear the tantalising sound of kids playing in the school yard. Oh god, not in a Michael Jackson way! Obviously. In a 'this is symbolic of the happiness incurred by a sunny afternoon' way. In M&S at lunch an EVIL STUDENT was on their phone behind me and he said 'we're just getting sandwiches and going to the park, come down! You can't go to college when it's sunny!'. I considered stabbing him with my Wensleydale sandwich, but it was too fresh to do any harm.
2. Read this book continuously. I was crying at it on the tube this morning, and more than a little resentful of the end of my journey.
3. Go to a (mildly) far-flung corner of my fair country this Easter break. I want to play boulder-hopping in a rocky stream, with just the right amount of clothing on to keep warm. I want to exchange stories with my friends over a well-earned, home-cooked meal in a place that's so thoroughly different from home. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
4. Not feel like I was putting on weight. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK FOR?
5. Put on the kettle and listen to 'Bl00dy Mother Fucking Asshole' (yes, Martha is my favourite of the Wainwrights). This is not too much to ask for, and I shall do it right now.